You are here: Home / Archives for Child Development

How Long Should You Wait Before Introducing Your Date to Your Kids?

Trying to meet that someone special can present a special set of challenges when you have kids. Rejoining the dating world can sometimes be hard to do. Not only do you need to be honest with potential partners, you also have to look out for your children’s emotional health.

Whether you are just looking for someone to share good times with, or you’re trying to find someone with whom to build a long-term relationship, your children’s feelings play an important part in how the relationship progresses. How your children feel about you dating is an important factor. Are they enthusiastic about you meeting someone, or are they resistant to sharing your attention? While their opinions should not necessarily dictate what you do, they can help you figure out when the time is right to introduce them to your partner.

Most women don’t want to rush this occasion, and some feel more comfortable when they know the relationship shows some potential. Not only do you not want to bring home someone you are not yet totally comfortable with, but you also don’t want to get your children too emotionally involved with your partner if the relationship does not work out. Sometimes, it’s best to use a wait-and-see approach. This can help you get a better handle on everyone’s feelings.

One way to speed up the process is by meeting prospective partners online. Getting to know someone via the Internet can eliminate many of the difficulties that come with balancing dating and kids. Not only is it a fun way to meet people without the drama of social situations, but it’s usually easier to weed out guys who aren’t interested in seeing single moms with families. Likewise, when you can talk to someone about kids long before you commit to going out, you have already conquered one important obstacle.

No matter what your situation, you can find a partner both you and your kids will love.

Filed Under: Child Development, Parenting Tagged With: , ,

Bringing the Pump to Work

Managing breastfeeding while maintaining a busy career can be hectic, and some days you may feel like throwing your pump in the garbage. How can you uphold the responsibilities of your demanding job while defending your conviction to breastfeed?

Be committed. Juggling aspects of work life with those of parenting are demanding, and settling for formula is a quick and easy solution to your problems. If you’ve decided that breastfeeding is best for the health of you and your baby, don’t give in, no matter how tempting the alternative.

Begin breastfeeding early and establish a regular feeding schedule before you return to work. This will ensure some regularity to your milk production, making those break times for pumping more consistent and bearable for your co-workers.

Talk to your supervisor about the specifics of when and where you should pump. Since you need to keep the pumping time as similar to the regular feeding time as possible, you can expect to pump every two to three hours. You may want to see if your boss or co-workers object to you pumping at your desk or in the break room. The restroom or an empty office may be better options.

Take as much maternity leave as possible, even if that means using vacation time or unpaid leave. The longer you breastfeed, the easier the transition back to work will be. Consider telecommuting if your company offers it, or start by going back to work part-time. If your place of employment offers on-site day care, feedings will be much simpler.

If you must hire a caregiver, make sure she is familiar with breast milk feedings. If not, explain to her thoroughly how to go about thawing and warming up the milk and have a written system in place such as labels to make the instruction more clear.

Talk to sympathetic co-workers or friends who have pumped at work, and fall back on that support system when necessary.

Filed Under: Child Development, Parenting Tagged With: , ,

Your Children are the Key to a Big Refund

Did you know that the federal government has created special tax provisions especially for parents? If you thought tax breaks were only for the rich, you might be pleasantly surprised! Let’s take a look at how you can reduce your tax burden this year:

Child Care Deductions

In today’s economy, most families need two paychecks to survive. If this is your situation, you know that child care is not only a requirement, it’s also very expensive. However, you don’t have much choice when you have to go to work. Many people don’t bother to deduct this from their taxes. Make sure you get the appropriate tax form from your daycare provider so that you can minimize the amount of taxes you need to pay each year. In fact, this could lead to a much bigger refund for many taxpayers.

Claiming Children as Dependents

Each year, you can deduct your children as dependents. In most cases, they must live with you, and you must pay at least 50% of their living expenses. For non-divorced parents, this is a no-brainer. However, it becomes a little trickier when there is a family split. Generally, the custodial parent is given the deduction unless some other agreement is made. The dependent deduction usually stops at the age of 19, with an exception made for full-time students and children with disabilities.

Using Free Tax Services

Don’t lose out on this savings by paying for expensive tax services. If you take a quick look online, you’ll see several options for free tax filing. By saving money and maximizing your refund, you’ll have more to spend on your children. Whether they need something extra for school or you’d like to do something fun, this money will be better off in your pocket than in the cash drawer of some accountant.

Make sure you take advantage of every possible deduction when you file your taxes this year!

Filed Under: Budgeting, Child Development Tagged With: , ,

Time-Out Tips

Time-Out has become one of the most widely used consequences in parenting today, and it’s a method that works for most children the majority of the time, but how often should Time-Out be used, and what amounts of time are we talking about?

For Time-Out to work effectively, there needs to be a specified Time-Out area. This should not be in the child’s room or in any other area away from the main living spaces in the house. It needs to be where most of the activity takes place, such as a living room, dining room, or kitchen. You can specify a Time-Out area for each room of the house, or be extra creative and have a special Time-Out rug. This can be a small carpet square that can be placed in any corner in the house, depending on where the discipline occurs. Having a portable Time-Out area is also a good idea if grandparents or other relatives who keep your child want to adopt your consequence in their house. Just take the Time-Out rug with you when you drop the kids off. It’s a visual reminder that they need to behave no matter where they are.

A good rule of thumb is to employ one minute of Time-Out for each year of the child’s age. For a two-year old, two minutes is adequate; for an eight-year old, eight minutes. Using a kitchen timer nearby to keep track of the punishment is generally recommended.

If a child refuses to go into Time-Out, take away a privilege until the Time-Out has been served. If taking away television privileges, you can unplug the TV, take the batteries out of the remote, or even put a lock on the entertainment center. If removing video game privileges, you can collect all video games, take away controllers, or just remove the console altogether. Do not return any of these items until the child yields to the Time-Out punishment.

Filed Under: Child Development Tagged With: ,

Finding Local Parenting Resources

Parenting can be difficult at times. You may find that you become overwhelmed and just don’t know how to handle situations that come up. Where can you look for answers? The parenting resources available to you in your community will depend on where you live. If you live in a larger metropolitan area you will most likely find a vast variety of resources available. If you live in a smaller rural community the resources available may be somewhat limited.

The best place to start is by talking to other parents, especially those with children older than your child or with more than one child. Generally these parents have already accessed many of the parenting resources in your community. If this is not an option or you are unable to get much information, you may want to check with your local library, chamber of commerce, or community education program. Many hospitals also offer parenting classes. You may even consider checking at your local Human Services office for parenting groups or classes that they may be offering.

Use the internet and reach prepaid card to search and buy the local parenting resources online. You can usually search by your city or county name for the particular resource you are searching for. You may even be able to find play groups and programs specific for your child’s age group.

Participating in parenting classes will give you additional support to learn skills you may need help with. This will also give you the opportunity to meet other parents with children the same age as your child. Forming friendships with parents who are at the same point you are at in your parenting can help too. This gives you one more resource to go to for advice and help along the way.

Filed Under: Budgeting, Child Development Tagged With: , ,

Child Development — Your Six to Eight Year Old

Do you know what to expect with your child as they grow and develop? What do you have to look forward to as your child goes through the next few years turning six, seven, and eight years old? This stage in your child’s development is considered “middle childhood.” Your child is no longer a baby and is not as dependent on you anymore. They want to be a “big kid” now and will continue to find ways to exert their independence.

Your child has begun school by the time they are six years old. With this brings a greater desire for independence from family and a greater desire for friendships. A child’s friends become extremely important to them at this age. Your child’s physical, mental, and social skills are developing quickly now.

Some of the changes you may see in your child at this stage of his development include his desire for independence. He will begin to have a much stronger sense of what is right and what is wrong. You may notice your child developing more awareness of his future. A desire to be liked and accepted by his friends and peers will become one of the most important things to him.

During this time your child’s mental skills will be developing much faster. His understanding of things will become much more apparent. He will have a greater ability to talk about thoughts and feelings and can describe things in greater detail. Your child is now developing into a person who will have more compassion and concern for other people and become less focused on himself. His attention span is increasing and he will have a greater ability to stay on task. During this time period, your child will develop the ability to resolve conflict and have a greater ability to learn from his mistakes.

Filed Under: Budgeting, Child Development Tagged With: , ,

Avoiding Common Discipline Mistakes

When it comes to disciplining children, we’ve all had to deal with backfired attempts. It’s not easy getting a child to mind without breaking down and threatening him with an empty lie, but a smart kid will almost always call you on it. It’s a common mistake parents often make, but how can you avoid the most common ones?

You want your child to learn the value of honesty, so practice what you preach. If your youngest is refusing to put on his shoes for the car ride home from Grandma’s, don’t give into the threat of “then you’re not coming home today!” Instead, use this as an opportunity to talk about how we often have to do things we don’t want to do. Be firm but empathetic.

Giving in to a child’s demands during an outburst is another common mistake. Don’t do it. Issue one warning and then dish out the consequence. There will be no room for your child to be left wondering if he can get away with it this time around. And talk about the consequences together, before the fits occur. Depending on the child, you may even be able to get him to agree on which consequences fit the respective crimes, so he plays a big part in his own discipline. This will begin the personal responsibility lesson early.

Never break your own rules. For all intents and purposes, consider them set in stone. This is also why it’s a good idea to have your child contribute his own ideas regarding consequences. There will be no surprises for either of you.

Another mistake parents often make deals not so much with the child, but in undermining each other. If Dad has put a screaming five-year old in time out, Mom should never come to the rescue, or vice versa. As a couple, discuss discipline before it happens, and be sure that the other spouse will support your consequence.

Filed Under: Child Development, Family Tagged With: , ,

Your Four-Year-Old -1

By the time your child reaches four years old he will be learning to dress himself. His fine motor skills have become more developed. He will still find it easier to pull a zipper down than pull it back up. Your child may still struggle with putting clothing on the right direction and may end up with shirts on backwards and shoes on the wrong feet.

Four year olds like their independence. Your child will like brushing his own teeth, washing his own hands, and brushing his own hair. Give your child the opportunity to do these things for himself whenever possible. This gives him a sense of independence and accomplishment.

By now your child’s vocabulary and language skills have drastically improved. Sentence structure is more defined and he should be fully understandable to other adults. He can understand the concept of numbers and is able to count objects. His imagination is in full swing by now, although he may sometimes get confused between fantasy and reality. During playtime you will notice your four-year-old becoming more dramatic and he can easily amuse himself with simple props.

Along with your child’s verbal skills he is also becoming more intellectual. If taught, he can recognize letters and letter sounds. He will notice simple words from books or signs, such as recognizing the word “stop” on a stop sign. His writing abilities have improved and he may be able to write his own name.

Your child will have a desire to make friendships. At this age children are still learning the concept of sharing and cooperating. Some children learn this easier and quicker than others. It is important to carefully watch your child at this age and continue to direct and encourage appropriate play behavior. Each child is an individual. Some may be more boisterous in their play while others are more reserved. Some children may be able to handle longer play dates while others can only manage short periods of time. Whatever your child’s personality is, you need to be sensitive to this and watch that your child is not becoming overwhelmed.

Filed Under: Budgeting, Child Development, Expert Advice Tagged With:

What to Expect from Your Three-Year-Old

By the time your toddler reaches her third birthday she has developed her fine motor skills to the point where she can ride a tricycle, jump off the ground with both feet, and may even be able to balance on one foot. By now she is learning her numbers, colors, and is able to recite the alphabet. Three year olds are full of wonder and spend their day exploring their environment.

A three-year-old has developed to the point that about 75 to 80 percent of their speech should be recognizable by other adults. She will be speaking in full three to five word sentences by now. She will love to listen to short stories and look at picture books. Her memory will have improved to the point that she can easily recite short poems or nursery rhymes. She will enjoy telling stories from a favorite book. Three-year-olds love to listen to music and will begin to sing their favorite songs.

By now your child will begin identifying basic shapes and colors. Her motor skills have improved and she is now able to stack blocks, draw circles and squares, and put together puzzles. She can now begin learning to write letters and may even be able to write her own name by the time she is four years old!

Physically, your three-year-old is beginning to lose her baby looks and is developing a taller, thinner, more adult-like look to her appearance. By now she has developed a full set of baby teeth. Most children by this age are using the toilet with some help. Her bladder has developed to the point that she is able to sleep through most nights without wetting. Most nights she is sleeping 10 to 12 hours.

Besides all the physical and intellectual developments that have been taking place, your child is developing social skills as well. She will now be seeking out peer relationships and enjoys playing with other children for short periods of time. At this point, however, children are still learning the concepts of sharing and cooperating and may still struggle with these things.

Filed Under: Child Development, Parenting Tagged With:
« Older Posts
Newer Posts »